Trauma is often misunderstood.
Trauma is not only about the event. It’s how we perceive the event. Depending on what age we were, who was around us to help us navigate or cope with the emotions, how helpless we felt to change the situation, how much of ourselves and our own needs we had to abandon in order to stay safe. Thus, Trauma is not about the event, it’s about the individual perception of the event. This is why trauma cannot be measured and it impacts everyone differently.
When trauma occurs, we feel helpless to change the situation as well as threatened causing us to betray our own needs to cope.
When we do not have emotional support that is someone to listen, to witness our pain without judging it, denying it, or shaming us. – it leads to feelings of shame and loneliness. Shame creates a lens through which we see ourselves and others around us. Shame says – ” I am unworthy. I don’t deserve joy or fulfillment. I am an object for people to use or completely ignore.”
The result of trauma is core believes about ourselves (usually I am broken, unworthy, unlovable) about others (usually – people are not trustworthy, everyone will leave me) and the world around us (usually – I’m not safe here, I need to watch my back).
We all have the ability to heal from trauma. Trauma is not the truth of who we are it is the perspective of who we are based on the events that occurred in life.
Trauma is just a part of the story it is not who we are. It is the beginning of separation from the true self. Healing is returning home to who we actually are – whole worthy and lovable.